It's Russian Roulette!

Q 1: Would you put an  gun to your head that had 3 million bullet sockets (imagine it possible) in the barrel but only one bullet is in the barrel. A one in 3 million chance of getting shot you get $3000 for doing it. Shooting the gun to your head.

You would be mad to risk it. Yet flying is the same statistic. You pay £3000 for a holiday. This is why I have flight concerns. See the point? What do you think? 

 A 1:  Yes, it's a fair point. And the same argument can be applied to being a car driver. Or doing anything at all that has a risk. Even preparing a meal in the kitchen!

They all have statistical probability of danger - with quite high accident rates. Driving a car feels safer because we are in charge - but we're not in charge of the other cars coming towards us etc.

So what it boils down to is - do you want a (completely) safe life??? If you do you'll have to opt out of modern society - and likely have a very boring time. I'd be interested in your comments...

Q 2: (Follow-up question) Hello Reg. Yes you're right - you would never do anything or go anywhere, I have only been to Spain in the past but next week I am going fly across the Atlantic - with another onward flight when I arrive. 4 flights there and back making a total of 8 hours and 3 hours. 

I hate the vulnerability of it, but I have to go so I have 12 hours of agony. I bet the thing goes down.

As you say you may as well take the risk otherwise why be alive. It is just unfortunate due to man's imperfection that sometimes things are overlooked resulting in a crash.

Some years ago there was a big air crash quite near to where I live. It's rare but a reality. If you happen to be in one, flying is lethal.

But I am going to grin and bear it and take a lot of wine before I go on that should help.

Any suggestions?

 A 2: That airliner crashing near your home town will have really emphasised the dangers of flying, I agree. No 'buts' here - it must have been a scary experience!

Same would have applied if a major traffic accident had occurred in your locality and if the media had given it as much attention.

The question is... as you have to go fly across the Atlantic... how do you want to feel/be?

Because as you now have just one week to prepare you'd better prepare well so that you make your trip as comfortable for yourself as you can.

Here are a few random ideas;

1. Sort out the issue of the 'rationales' Keep them separate from the 'emotionals' (e.g. Yes, I know flying is risky, etc. etc. And so are most other activities to a greater or lesser extent. No point in trying to emphasise to myself how risky it is - let's just get on with things, etc.)

2. Recognise that. despite the risks, lot's of people, including flight crews, fly. How do 'comfortable flyers' do it? This is the key. If you could adopt their attitude you'd have it cracked. Most of them have the attitude of ensuring that all precautions are taken. Then they simply decide if your number is up it is up! And from that moment they decide there is no further point in giving the safety issue further thought - because thoughts do not keep a plane in the air. Any more than does gripping the arms of the seat tightly! That's a little joke, btw.)

3. Once you've got that far begin working on the thoughts that create the scary feelings. Here you must rely on the desensitisation tips. It is not the quickest method and requires some self-discipline - but it will reduce the intensity of the anxiety.

4. Medication helps for some people. Not all, though. It is a gamble. Personally, I do not take medication of any kind. But, in your shoes, I'd take a gamble on it.

5. Alcohol does help- some people - but not too much. And it can backfire.

6. Throughout the flight keep your mouth moist (by sipping water - not alcohol!). A dry mouth signals 'fear' to the brain and it responds accordingly.

7. Get a decent relaxation tape and headphones. Use this, especially before and during take-off and landing.

8. On the flight get up and move about as much as is possible. Physical activity releases accumulated tension.

9. Refuse to entertain scary thoughts from now on - they don't in any way help - you have to fly so why make life harder for yourself! Each time they occur say to yourself there's no point in doing this to myself I'll think of something else. Not easy to do - but a lot better than being a victim to your internal disaster movies.

10. 'Things to do' help some people. Bring and use your laptop if you have one. Load a few good games onto it. Crosswords and puzzle books, too. Letters to write, etc. etc. (I fly frequently  and use the waiting/flying time to catch up on paperwork, write newsletters, etc.)

Check out the Fear of Flying Section, too.  

Important: please read our caution regarding all health-related advice. 

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