I have to cross 3 bridges

Q. My daughter, in college, lives 700 miles away. I travel to see her with no fear, BUT, I have to cross 3 bridges to get to her, and I start to panic within 10 - 20 miles of each bridge.

I start to sweat, drive 20 mph, and can't breath. I am almost 50 years, and have never had such a fear. Why, how, what is causing this? I have never been involved in a serious car accident. I used to drive daily over bridges to get to work. Please HELP.

A. This sort of fear often develops during or after times of high stress. We then 'attach' our anxiety to a particular thing - such as, in your case, bridges. It begins with a slight nervousness and then gradually this builds up to the point where it becomes a phobia.

This is one way - it can also begin in other ways. The important issue is, of course, what can do about it?

I'd suggest one of two courses:

1. Get professional help. Look for a qualified therapist who has trained in NLP to Master Practitioner level.

2. Help yourself. Here you use the desensitisation method. There is some information here

The important thing is to gradually regain your confidence. So create a hierarchy of steps from 'fairly comfortable' to 'high anxiety'. This is something you have to create for yourself but 'fairly comfortable' might be walking across a short and low footbridge. When you can do this fully comfortably move on to the next step - and so on.

Once you get past the first few items on your hierarchy you may find the improvement begins to speed.

Other related pages

Phobias

Deal with phobias

Desensitisation

Hierarchy of fears

Using Desensitisation

Caution!

Fear of Bridge crossing - Q&A