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Fear can paralyse us
There's a huge difference between how young people deal with irrational fear versus how adults do it.
Let me clarify. I'm a High Ropes Course instructor and I assist young people and
adults enjoy the thrill of climbing, and walking or standing, on poles or trees about
30-
In all the high activities you are secured with safety ropes which are managed by your instructor on the ground. You cannot fall: High Ropes' activities are safe, the training and testing of Instructors is rigorous, all safety equipment is tested regularly – and is designed to be able to support a weight equivalent to that of four racehorses!
I know it’s silly, but...
That’s fine -
Especially when standing on top of a 30' pole (that’s higher than 2 double-
How is it that, instead of rationally accepting the factual data and feeling safe, I feel downright scared and exposed.
It’s because the fear evoked by the unfamiliar height and exposure bypasses or ignores any attempts to be ‘sensible' and rational – just as it does in the case of a phobia.
The young vs. the adult person
Yet there is a big differences between how the under-
Young people keep moving -
These are generalisations – hence my saying ‘for the most part'. There are lots of
exceptions – but the principle is what is important. And it provides some pointers
for how we adults approach risk in our lives. Because we were all young once – and,
using NLP, we can re-
The young people just get on with it. They do not allow the fear to paralyse them. They do feel nervous about the height but they just get on with the activity. Adults know, rationally, that they cannot fall or get hurt. But they are much less able to manage the sensations and thoughts which are evoked by taking part in the High Ropes.
Too much thinking - too little action
Adults do too much thinking. They take a few steps, then pause and imagine falling. Take, for instance, The Trapeze Jump which involves climbing up a wobbly pole, standing on the 9 inch top and jumping out to catch a swinging trapeze.
Most young people focus on what they are doing and get on with it. Many of us adults pause near the top, hyperventilate a bit, imagine how awful it will be and climb a bit more. We take ages to get into a standing position. Then we freeze once again – sometimes for long minutes – and then jump.
It seems that as we move away from our youth there is an insidious process of allowing our fears to rule us.
Learning to fear excitement
Now just how we do this is interesting. It seems as if we adults have learned to
fear excitement because of the adrenaline it produces. When we were six years old
the build-
And we called the sensations ‘excitement'.
By our twenties we are labelling these sensations ‘anxiety’ or ‘fear’ or ‘stress’ or ‘panic’. So we linger and analyse them. And the more we analyse and dwell upon the sensations the stronger we make them until they become so unpleasant that we decide to avoid whatever activity we’re contemplating.
Now that activity becomes a new ‘no-
We have learned to feel nervous about feeling nervous! We no longer enjoy excitement.
Life is becoming a threatening experience -
Acting or Thinking?
Any unfamiliar activity will produce adrenaline. Because it is unfamiliar it is 'coded' by our emotions as a potential threat and a mini version of the Fight or Flight response is produced – which provides us with adrenaline and energy to act quickly and energetically.
But… the Fight or Flight mechanism clouds rational thinking. This is because it evolved as a means of taking physical action – of fleeing from a physical threat or fighting it. And if we do not take action but engage in irrational and fearful thinking this will produce even more adrenaline. Soon we are scared about feeling excited and, until we do something the internal cycle continues and builds up.
As adults what we often do at this stage is avoid. We back off. ‘I don't like this
feeling so I will avoid this situation.’ Now we are developing a no-
More action - less analysis
The answer:
Act a little more
Analyse a little less
...so you don't become trapped by paralysis by analysis.
Too much thinking about the threats simply produces too much adrenaline. Action dissipates
both adrenaline and physical tension. It also ensures that we increase our confidence
rather than develop no-
Decide to become more action-
Do it rather than brood over it.
And remain aware that the alternative is hours, days or even months of paralysis
by analysis and the stress that goes with that – and the way in which this ever-
Start noticing areas where you freeze or procrastinate through too much thinking and analysing. Get into the habit of quickly assessing your options – then go for it.
Take action – even if you don't always get things right you'll achieve more, fit more into your life, and boost your confidence and self esteem.
(From The Pegasus NLP Newsletter -
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