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How do you motivate yourself?
Are you motivated by carrots or by sticks? By the pressure of consequences or by anticipating the benefits?
Are you one of those who looks forward and sees how you would like things to be and
are then inspired to action by this image? In other words are you pro-
Or are you a procrastinator – who ‘puts off' everything you can. And only acts on things when they become so urgent that you have absolutely no choice but to act?
Back, at school, when you were given an essay how did you handle it? Did you go home
and do it -
The differences between them
Carrot People will pay their bills ahead of time. Stick People will wait till a week
after the ‘final notice'. They'll also put off unpleasant tasks until the very last
minute and will tend to ignore or hide bills or letters-
Carrot People focus on achieving goals. Stick People focus on avoiding unpleasant consequences. The Carrot Person will talk about what they want – and will use words like attain, achieve, get, have, include, obtain. The Stick Person's conversation will emphasise what they do NOT want and will include words like avoid, not have, steer clear of, keep away from, exclude, get rid of, etc.
Carrot People will arrive early for an appointment with you. Stick People arrive
late – “Awfully sorry -
The critical difference
Because Stick People spend life trying to avoid un-
On the other hand Carrot People go through life looking for ways to make life better, more enjoyable or more interesting. They thrive on challenge and opportunity. Their thoughts are of what nice things they can make happen – so they tend to be bubbly, cheerful, and great company...
Unless you're a dyed-
You'll likely prefer to spend your time with other negative people who, like you, see the gloomy and negative side of life – only you don't call yourselves 'negative' you say you're “realistic” and that these optimistic people live in 'cloud cuckoo land'. (It's been validated by psychological studies that the pessimistic Stick People are more realistic about life – and are more able to recognise the reality that things do go wrong. And that the optimistic Carrot People are less realistic – but they have a nicer time!)
Isn't this a generalisation!
Yes, of course it is. Nobody is a pure Carrot or Stick Person. And any statement about human behaviour, is likely to be a generalisation to which there will be many exceptions. The important thing here is that, although each of us will have slightly different approaches in different areas of our lives there will be an overall tendency towards being a Stick or a Carrot Person – especially when we are under stress or pressure.
Beware of the "stick motivational style”
How you motivate yourself has a major influence on your peace of mind and on your happiness! If you use the Stick style you are using stress and pressure to motivate yourself. It's a negative motivational style. And it is also very common – in fact, it is likely that most of us will have this style predominating on our lives. But it's not a nice way to live – even though you may have grown used to it – and it undermines peace of mind and even your health.
How is the stick style unhealthy?
Let's say you are Stick Person. There is likely to be a long list of things that you are putting off or 'going to get round to doing'. (The Carrot Person would have attended to each of these as they arose, of course.
But you've procrastinated so now there's a whole queue of them.) Because of this list you now cannot relax and your peace of mind is undermined.
Every time you begin to relax you think “I should be doing this or I really ought to get that done”. There's always the gloomy cloud there because of the things you know you should do. You've put things off – but it hasn't solved anything because they list is still affecting you. You are not at ease. You cannot just let go and enjoy. You are constantly under emotional or mental pressure.
Living with accumulating stress
Worse still, each of the procrastinated items will wait until it has become so urgent that you have no choice but to act on it.
This means that for days or weeks or months EACH item on your list will be getting
more and more stressful. Only when the stress becomes uncomfortable will you act!
So this way of handling, or not handling, your life means that you are always under
this unnecessary and gradually-
How does this style of motivating oneself and running one's life affect physical health?
Some people may say “this doesn't apply to me – I'm easy-
Wrong. You have only consciously forgotten about them. You unconscious, or emotional
mind, has not forgotten them. And those put-
You may grow so used to this form of chronic low level stress that you no longer even notice it but it is affecting you.
Rather like wearing a shoe that pinches but which you decide to put up with. After a while you no longer notice the pinching – until you take the shoe off at the end of the day and notice the relief – and the bruising on your foot.
Some effects of the procrastinating habit
Chronic low-
The answer? Start doing it now!
Firstly, the not-
Secondly, the good news. You can change. It's not ‘how you are' it's how you have been acting. And you can, with perseverance, change this.
So, if you are ready to start – and determined to persevere -
- Make a written (it must be written) list of everything that needs your attention and action
- Prioritise your list. Give the items 2, 3 4 or 5 stars according to how important they are.
- For each 4 or 5-
star item write a mini plan (again it must be written) for how and when you will act on it. - Act on your mini plans – and also begin gradually whittling away at the less important
2 and 3-
star items - Rewrite your list daily. Do this by hand rather than on your PC – most people find that the act of physically writing it helps to keep the list fresh in their minds. Add new items to your list, along with their importance rating, to your list as they come along.
Yes, writing and re-
From the Pegasus NLP Newsletter -
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