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Over 300 years ago a British physician called John Hunter had a very bad temper and, not surprisingly, suffered from a heart disorder called angina pectoris. Hunter would often comment "My life is at the mercy of any scoundrel who chooses to put me in a passion".
His comments proved prophetic and, during a meeting of the board of St. Georges Hospital in London he became involved in a heated argument, walked out, and dropped dead...
Most people are aware that there is a proven connection on-going anger and a number of physical illnesses, notably heart disease.
But it also has other, and much more immediate, unpleasant effects. It consumes huge amounts of mental and physical energy, takes from our enjoyment of life, interferes with constructive and useful thinking, threatens our relationships and career prospects, undermines our self esteem and, in extremes, can so obsesses us that it crowds most other thoughts from our minds.
After an angry exchange you can be affected you for hours or even days as you endlessly go over the event in your mind, churning up the anger feelings and adding to them. And during this period your mood is being ruled by the memory of the person you are angry with and not by you. You are a victim of the event.
When you allow someone else's behaviour to make you angry you are indeed the victim. They are likely to go off and forget about it. You are being controlled by them without their even knowing about it - as you fume and fret and relive the event for days or months afterwards - while trying to enjoy yourself with friends or family, while relaxing on the beach, or while trying to sleep at night.