Anger

The Anger Habit

The ‘anger habit’  includes the tendency to experience temper tantrums, feelings of on-going frustration, resentment, irritability, etc.

We call it a habit because it is a habitual way of behaving and responding to circumstances of which we disapprove. It is not ‘how I am’ – it is ‘how I react’.

The habit of feeling angry a lot of the time can control your life. It can damage your health, ruin peace of mind, spoil your relationships, jeopardise your career – and even cost you your liberty if, for example, a violent temper or a furious outburst results in a prison sentence.

Just what is anger?

Anger is a feeling which some of us experience when events in our world are not going according to our plans. Usually we have an idea of how things, events and people should be – and when they don’t march to our tune we get angry and either feel frustrated and simmer or we try to change the events or people.

This approach works fine, up to a point, until we are about four or five years old. After this it becomes less effective: the rest of the world gradually stops indulging us as we grow up.

But that doesn’t stop many of us remaining a victim to our tempers all of our lives.

So, in essence, anger is the feeling we get when we feel driven to control the world about us. It’s a pretty childish emotion – since no one person can or will ever be able to control everyone else in the world – or even in one’s own family.

We know that. But usually don’t know what to about it – so we carry on trying!

What angry feelings can do

The habit of feeling angry a lot of the time can control your life. It can damage your health, ruin peace of mind, spoil your relationships, jeopardise your career – and even cost you your liberty if, for example, a violent temper or a furious outburst results in a prison sentence.

 

See also:  Blog article about the Anger Habit

 

Our Anger pages

The ‘mechanics’ of anger

Anger and victim thinking

The cost of the anger habit

Our 6-step anger management system

Tips for dealing with anger

Anger and Road Rage

The Short Fuse Workshop

What’s in The Short Fuse workshop

What people have said about The Short Fuse Workshop

Anger and the ‘rules to live by’

Anger and ‘mind reading’

Anger – ‘That’s the Last Straw!’

Anger and unrealistic standards

Anger and the Right or Happy question

 

by Reg Connolly

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